Stuck in Traffic

 
(Photo Courtesy)

 By Tabitha Makumi,

When you are stuck in traffic for 30 minutes to an hour somewhere along the infamous Mombasa Road or Waiyaki Way listening to John Mayer singing about how he keeps waiting on the world to change, you’ve got to admit that those are some of your fraught times. There’s nothing much you can do about it. You can’t just throw money on it and wish it away.

Oh you can pray to whichever deity you pray to, Odin, Norse, Thor (I have been watching Vikings which by the way is way better than Game of Thrones) but aint no nobody got time for your little misery. So you just sit it out in your Porsche Cayene S (beautiful car if you ask me) or your 2016 Jeep Wrangler and wonder why life has to be so goddamn unfair.

On the other hand, you could be on a Likana Star Bus admiring the hell out of that Porsche on the left lane and thinking “What wouldn’t I give to be driving that thing”  to “I bet being stuck in traffic in
such a car isn’t so darn bad….”  But come to think of it, traffic doesn’t give a hoot what kind of car
you are driving. At that precise moment before man and God, you are all equal. But not until the Star Bus decides to maneuver its way out of that juncture by driving on a foot path. Small victories. Eat that, Porsche!

But in all seriousness, traffic blows. Somehow it senses you are running late and that’s when it decides to rear its ugly head. You know those days when you swear you set the alarm at 5 freaking 30 am only to wake up at 7.10am wondering why there are sun rays in your bedroom so darn early. You can bet your ass there will be a stretched traffic from here to eternity. And you haven’t known misery until you find out that you forgot your earphones and have to listen to misogynist men who pass for radio hosts objectify women for an hour or thereabout.

So you opt to read a book if the brash music allows it. You catch a glimpse of several people staring at you and all you want to do is shout, “Relax peeps, it’s just a book not a nuclear weapon…” the music fades and it’s just you and your book and two chapters later if you are lucky the car is moving, albeit at a snail pace. But a snail pace will do than no pace at all.

When loud music can’t and won’t allow to hear yourself think, you do what everybody does. You scroll through your phone. From CNN to TMZ to ungodly sites until Safaricom decides to send you one of these … “Dear Customer, your data bundle is almost finished blah blah blah…..”  What a party pooper this little annoying text is.

I don’t know what you do while stuck in traffic, whether it’s to cuss at all those uncivilized matatu drivers who won’t respect your Porsche and your Jeeps, or whether you like to read a book, play candy crush…hey, whatever floats your boat, I hope it lessens your misery.